Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The adults are the big ones right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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