dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
