I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
nutella sex= disaster
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
