No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
