took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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