we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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