mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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