I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
