I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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