girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize