I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
