I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize