Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
