Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
