I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
