Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Houston, we have a blender
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
