I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
