At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
