I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
God, I missed his penis.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
