the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't motorboat a personality
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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