my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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