oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
