I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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