Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
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