he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
