Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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