i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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