I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
