I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
