the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
