I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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