what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
