butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize