so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
