so that wasnt chicken after all
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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