So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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