can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
