bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize