I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
