on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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