What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
