How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize