Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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