are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im holly from the hills drunk
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
