kristin has been a bad kristin
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
