everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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