What a fucking waste of an outfit
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
why is half of my head shaved?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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