WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
