Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Say something about gay babies.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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