This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
