dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
