do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
