She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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