Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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