I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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