oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
