my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
