But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's shark week go big or go home
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
