I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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