That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
