omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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