would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
