Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
