YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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