Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I love having hate sex.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
porn star boner night. come get it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
