u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
