Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
