I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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