...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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