what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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