Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You can't just leave with hair like that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
