Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Ketchup is God's man juice
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
