I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Randomize
