Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Panties = found
Randomize
