She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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