I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
